Goblin Gang in: The Book of Rules
by Greggory Elfwind
Summary: Troble is afoot when the very important Book of Rules is stolen from the Goblin Cottage, and it's up to the Goblin Gang to get it back before supper. Rated K for an encounter with a frightful villain.


The Goblin knew he was in trouble the second the sliding glass doors opened.

"What exits that building could mean danger for me." Surmised the Goblin.

His friend should not have told him to come here, for it was surely a trap. But what would a Goblin's friends do but trick him, for they were feisty creatures.

Out of the building came a familiar figure, carrying a basket of grapes. "Hello, Goblin." Said another Goblin.

"I would sure like a juicy tasty grape; but what if they are poisoned?" Thought the original Goblin. "What a world we live in."

"I see you are looking at these grapes I have plucked." The second Goblin noted, holding his basket protectively. "I will share one with you, but only if you tell me your Goblin name. I bet it is very pretty."

But the Goblin only shook his head and sighed. He knew that a Goblin's name was the most sacred of all Goblinish words, and besides the other Goblin was fat and smiley and looked very sneaky. The other Goblin chuckled.

Abruptly, a voice cried out for help and both Goblins turned to see a Girblin running up the path.

She was greenish and scaly and very pretty indeed, and the Goblins faced off, puffing out their chests to look more manly. They both wanted to help with her problem because they hoped for a grateful kiss.

"What is the matter?" both Goblins asked the Girblin.

"A thief!" she cried. "A thief has stolen our most precious book: the Book of Rules!"

"WHAT?!" cried both Goblins. "We must find this scoundrel!" But then they looked at each other sheepishly because they were Goblins and very tricky but not too brave.

"I have an idea!" said the Grape Goblin. "We will put our craftiness to the test."

"But how?" asked the original Goblin.

"We will lay a trap, and catch this thief before sundown!"

The Girblin was so happy she jumped for the sky. "Hooray!" they all shouted.

But the trap did not work. So they sat in the meadow and thought… "I know!" Said the original Goblin. "We can go ask the Witch! She will tell us who stole the book!"

"But the Witch's Cavern is far away on the mountain," pouted the Grape Goblin. "And how will we pay her?"

"With your grapes!" said the original Goblin. The second Goblin glowered and wished to refuse, but the curvy Girblin was smiling at him hopefully so he had no choice.

After traveling up the mountain and arriving at the Witch's home, both Goblins and the Girblin knocked twice at the door.

"What little forest friends are knocking at my door?" asked the Witch warmly.

"It is us," spoke the Goblins, "the Goblins!"

The Goblins told the Witch of their need to catch the thief, and the Witch agreed to help, but for a price.

"Two plums." She said, and the Goblins got scared.

"But all we have are these tasty grapes!" cried the Girblin.

"I see," the Witch nodded. "I know a spell to turn grapes into two plums."

"How much would that cost?" asked the Grape Goblin.

"All of your grapes." The Witch replied.

"Ha ha ha!" they all laughed.

The original Goblin held out his hand. "Give me the grapes, Goblin," he said to the other Goblin. But when they looked, the grapes had disappeared!

"Where are the grapes?" they cried. The Girblin was on the verge of tears and the Witch watched them yell and search. Then the Grape Goblin laughed so hard and loud that everyone stopped and looked. He pulled the basket of grapes from behind a big stone. "I tricked you!" he said gleefully and everyone laughed, especially the Witch.

With a wiggle of the Witch's little pink nose, the grapes turned into two plums, which the Witch dropped into her magic bucket. The Goblins and the Girblin looked on in awe as the room filled with the smell of sunflowers.

"Sunflowers…" said the Grape Goblin.

"Sunflowers…" said the Girblin.

"Sunflowers…" said the original Goblin.

"Sunflowers…" said the Witch. Then everything was quiet, until…

"The Sunflower fields!" the Goblins and the Girblin shouted together. "That is where we will find our thief!"

The witch smiled and nodded, proud of her forest friends and patted each one on the back as they rushed from her home to catch that book crook.

As they hurried along down the path, the Goblin said, "I have an idea! When we find the thief, we need to trick him into telling us his name. When he does, you know what happens…"

"Yes," said the Girblin, "He has to do anything we say. It's in the Book of Rules."

"And," said the other Goblin, "When we say his name and he has to obey us, we will tell him to return the book to the Goblin Cottage!" They cheered with joy.

Chapter 2: Goblins, Thieves, and Wizards!

The Goblins hurried down the stone path through the Merrywood Forest. There was a rope bridge that would lead them to Faerytown, where the sunflower fields sprawled like patches of sunshine. They laughed gaily because their journey had nearly ended.

But they halted when they reached the rope bridge.

"Oh, no!" cried the Girblin.

"What sort of trickery is afoot here?" asked one of the Goblins. They were in trouble yet again: Someone had untied the rope that held the bridge together!

"Someone has tricked us!" shouted the Grape Goblin, grabbing a loose length of rope from the bridge. "I can tell!"

"How will we get across to Faerytown?" sobbed the Girblin.

The three of them each took to furrowing their brows, deep in thought, when the original Goblin got an idea.

"I have an idea!" said the original Goblin.

"We can swim across," he said. "We all know how to swim, right?"

The other Goblin and the Girblin both bobbed their heads up and down, but not happily, for everyone knows how much Goblins hate water!

They prepared for the swim by doing some stretches and dove into the sparkling waters with grim determination. The Grape Goblin reached the far bank first and helped to pull the Girblin up onto the shore. He didn't help the other Goblin up though, which made the original Goblin stamp his foot!

"Oh well," he thought. "I will have to catch the thief first, so she will share a kiss with me and like me best."

The trio raced through the sunflower fields of Faerytown with wet clothes and smiles on each of their faces, except the original Goblin who was still mad from before.

"That Grape Goblin is greedy. " The Goblin muttered to himself. "All he wants is a kiss."

But the original Goblin wanted one too. It was all he could think about, even more than the book of rules!

"The Girblin is so pretty. Her smile is better than every other smile rolled into one." The original Goblin began to fantasize, which led him astray from his two friends.

The Goblin quickly became lost in the sunflower fields until he ran full-speed into a dark, shadey figure who had struggled to keep his balance after the collision.

The original Goblin rubbed his head in pain. "Owww," he said. "I hope you are okay, but my head is bruised now!"

The darkly dressed figure searched around amongst the sunflowers for something he had dropped, but it was the original Goblin who had found it first: it was the Book of Rules. This dark person was the thief they had been searching for, and the original Goblin knew exactly who this thief was.

"The Shadowmancer!" the original Goblin declared, holding the Book of Rules close.

The Shadowmancer merely hissed in response, his bad breath spreading through a patch of sunflowers, turning them gray.

Things looked grim, but the Goblin knew what to do.

"Look around you," the Goblin said to the Shadowancer. "Each sunflower is like the smile of a Goblin Babe. It doesn't matter what music you listen to or how you dress, for even you can see how much the world loves you!"

The Shadowmancer took a look from beneath his hood and saw sunflowers all around him, smiling and bobbing in the breeze.

"BUHHHH!" the sinister figure exclaimed. His black clothes caught fire, brightly lighting the area with green flames and filling the happy sunflower field with the smell of burnt ham. "I will NEVER learn your rules! NEVER!"

The Shadowmancer ran away on fire, disappearing into Merrywood Forest while a trail of smoke drifted up into the sky. The Goblin, with Book of Rules in hand, smiled and nodded, knowing that someday, even the Shadowmancer would learn all the Rules.

"We'll be ready for you." he said.

"Ready for whom?" asked the Girblin and the Grape Goblin who had both just arrived, each with a fresh sunflower in their hair.

"Ready for the White Wizard to come visit Goblin Town in two days!!"

"Really!?" shouted the Girblin excitedly.

"Really!?" shouted the Grape Goblin, wondering how long it's been since the White Wizard last visited.

The Original Goblin smiled at both of his friends before he found a nearby log to jump atop. "I tricked you!" he said poignantly.

The Goblin Gang returned together to Goblin City with the Book of Rules kept safely in the Grape Goblin's grape basket. The Original Goblin never spoke of his encounter with the Shadowmancer, for he did not want to scare the Girblin, not after she gave him a grateful kiss!

When the three entered the Goblin Cottage, the Grape Goblin brought the book before the great bookkeeper who had been sobbing into his sleeves all afternoon. The bookkeeper looked up at the Grape Goblin with a knowing smile and the slowest of nods. Neither Goblin nor bookkeeper could contain their joy for long once the book was returned to the glowing pedestal at the center of the Cottage. The Girblin broke out into song, but no one else knew the words so she had to stop.


End file.
